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nutmeg #1: home remedy

Author: Marika Kailaya
Title: my mistake for wasting yours and mine
'Verse: Nagekawashii; MeYu
Challenge: Nutmeg 1. home remedy
Toppings/Extras: N/A
Wordcount: 556
Rating: R
A/N: N/A

Meki wakes up like a seizure, leaping to a sitting position and gasping cold air. The exhale is putrid steam. He is obviously trying to shout but his mouth won't properly form words and his lungs won't let him raise his voice. "Why am I alive?" He slides back down to the floor and Yuku lifts him patiently and adjusts Meki's head in his lap. It's warmer for both of them.

Yuku can think of a hundred bitter replies. Instead he pulls his jacket tighter around himself and tugs the blanket back up to Meki's chin. Meki is staring up at him feverishly and shivering, though sweat is condensing on his face. His eyes have never been so blue and Yuku has never hated them so much. "I," Meki begins, and then sits up again and crawls a few inches away from Yuku, clutching at his head and vomiting profusely.

There is a knot forming amidst the yellow and black bruises and red sores of Meki's elbow. Yuku has thought, in the time Meki has been unconscious, about what to do about that. He doesn't really know what it means, and he isn't yet sure if he minds if Meki dies, so he has simply let it be.

Yuku considers the moonlight streaming through the broken window. This building has been abandoned for at least thirty years. It is not the clean wooden fire hazard Yuku still thinks he belongs in; this place is made of cold grey concrete and filled with the remains of the despicable failures that were here before (and with) them: bits of cardboard, bits of wood, stumps of melting paraffin candles all globbing together, assorted rat-gnawed blankets.

It's October now and if they stay here much longer they'll either freeze to death or be arrested. Yuku is waiting for a time when Meki is coherent enough long enough to leave but he's starting to think it will never come.

Meki has made his way back to Yuku, tangling his arms around Yuku's waist, and Yuku absentmindedly wraps his arms around him, Meki's knees bumping into his as they cling together. It's just warmer. That's all. One day Yuku is going to go away from this. "Your glasses are over there," Yuku says, nodding towards a dark corner. "I didn't let them get broken. I thought you might not die, so." They are sitting in a semicircle of candles. He is waiting for them both to go up in flames.

"You don't understand," Meki says, burying his face in Yuku's chest.

And Yuku doesn't.

"I just wanted the noise to stop," Meki says. His words are muffled through hysterical tears, through imminent withdrawal, through the despair that comes when one has just discovered one is still alive. "I just wanted to be happy and stop thinking." He lifts his face and meets Yuku's eyes. He is barely human. The bones of his face are shadows and his pupils have narrowed to pinpoints.

"Did it work?" Yuku asks.

Meki holds Yuku tighter and lets out the kind of choked sob that Yuku has to be strong enough to avoid even though his chest aches. "Nothing is ever going to work," Meki says. "This is not going to be okay."

"No," Yuku agrees, "I don't think it is."

But he doesn't let Meki go.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 28th, 2013 10:03 pm (UTC)

They do make it out okay... right? Right?
Dec. 28th, 2013 10:22 pm (UTC)

welllll now that depends. they make it to adulthood, at least. =P
Jan. 5th, 2014 11:15 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I like this. The intensity, the way the breakdown of the stuff around them and its decrepit state mirrors how Yuku's emotions are feeling and Meki's physical (and emotional) state. It makes me sad and worried for them!
Feb. 1st, 2014 09:12 pm (UTC)
(whee lj doesn't email me comments most of the time so i always reply laaaate)

thank you. <3 i'm quite glad it has the intended effect.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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