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Author: 1306
Rating: PG (talks about being drunk)
Challenge/Toppings: Chocolate Gelato #3 (In vino veritas/In wine there is truth) + Butterscotch, Music-and-Mixes Month (Artists of the Week: Bjork - Mutual Core)
Word Count: 463
Story Arc: The World of !!!
Title: Drunk Tongues
Summary: A legend of how the continent of !!! was born out of two gods' intoxicated bickerings.
A/N: I don't even know what happened here. It's all silly-willy madness, that much I can say.

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It was the oldest of legends--old enough that many had no idea that intelligent life had been able to live for that long. Written down on the face of a tall crag jutting out of the forests, the scholars and philosophers from every corner of !!! rushed to interpret and translate the archaic language. What they got stunned them, not for the richness of the tale, but rather how incredibly inane it sounded.

It quickly became a drunkard's favorite story--how !!! had been born out of two gods in love, ?! and !?. Or rather, how their love/hate relationship birthed the land.

Both gods had a common weakness that tore them apart constantly: they got easily intoxicated from drinking water. And since back then, the planet had been completely aquatic, and not drinking anything meant certain death, every other hour they were drunk out of their wits. It led to moments where one thought the other had invented a new language, but was really too drunk to speak any coherent language--out of the 92 that they both knew.

The constant intoxication also gave way to multiple quarrels and bickering, only for hours later that they would apologize and lie together, floating on the surface of the water, not remembering what had happened that night. Unfortunately, due to the ugly truth frequently coming out of their inebriated tongues, mostly insults and accusations directed at each other, they were quarreling more than enjoying each other's presence.

The fights elevated to when they would materialize whatever substance they could create and fling it at each other. Standing hundreds of miles from each other, every minute a chunk of rock and soil--the things they were able to materialize--flew over the dolphins' and whales' heads, landing at random places on the surface of the water. Sometimes eruptions of magma disturbed the ocean floors, making way for some of the mountains and volcanos of the continent.

The fights continued into a million years, until before they knew it, they had created !!! out of their rage and infatuation. They created the land from their anger, and all the living things from their love. After the million and first year, they settled upon the shores of the continent, living amongst the raw nature and the first humans. Their quarrels greatly decreased, apart from the few times they had to drink water--but reigned peacefully amongst the flora, fauna, and the humans.

Perhaps the one small detail that upset some scholars and philosophers was that ?! and !? were of the same gender. Most, though, found it amusing, while a smaller number found it endearing. Either way, drunkards have field days with the story, especially in taverns and drinking circles.

They always say the best way to tell it is to be as inebriated as the gods were.

Comments

ichthusfish
Feb. 5th, 2013 04:25 pm (UTC)
They always say the best way to tell it is to be as inebriated as the gods were.

I'm sure that getting into the spirit of the situation enhances the retelling greatly ;)
13066301
Feb. 15th, 2013 10:55 am (UTC)
Oh, it does. It makes for a lot of drunk antics afterwards, too. :D

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