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2 pockys : "fish hook" and "monster"

These are both little brother-sister moments Jason remembers from when he was younger. So I wrote them in the past tense which is WEIRD FOR ME (but not cherry-weird, I don't think).

Author: hi_falootin
Prompt: mocha 8. 'tis but a flesh wound
Word Count: 99
Rating: G

Dee picked out a green, shiny lure and slipped it on the end of my fishing line.
"There," she said, "Dad showed you how to cast, right?"
I nodded and released the bail, bringing the rod back over my shoulder with the flicking motion Dad used.

The next thing I heard was Dee screaming and cursing at me. When I looked over, I saw the fish hook poking through the skin at the back of her shoulder. The rod slipped from my hands.

"Oh my God! I'm--"

"It's okay," she said between her teeth. "I'm gonna practice being tough."

Author: hi_falootin
Prompt: mocha 16. nudge nudge, wink wink
Word Count: 90
Rating: G

"You think there's a monster under your bed, Jase? Want me to scare it off?"

I kept the blankets tucked up under my chin as my sister crawled around the bed. "No. Something's outside."

"Outside?" She got up and padded towards the window. As she was squinting out into the night, something slapped loudly against the glass.

Dee screamed, vaulting onto my bed and scrambling over my legs.

"What was it?!"

"Tree branch." She joined me under the blankets. "But I'm just gonna sleep here so you won't be scared."


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 27th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
I love that last lines of both of them :)
Sep. 27th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you! We've all been going a little pocky crazy around here, huh? ;)
Sep. 27th, 2008 06:52 pm (UTC)
it does seem to be quite popular, but I actually find being that concise a bit difficult!
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
me too, actually! I had trouble making the first one short enough.
Sep. 27th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
Those are both fabulous! On the rare occasions that I have fished, I always worry that I'm going to accidentally pierce somebody's lip. And in the second piece, Dee jumping into bed with Jason "so you won't be scared" is terribly endearing and funny. Well done!

Now all I need is some time to sit down with MY story...although if I'm forced to wait until after Brian and Emily's reception next weekend, I can probably incorporate real-life wedding-reception details, which could be sort of fun.
Sep. 27th, 2008 05:35 pm (UTC)
I'VE BOTH HOOKED PEOPLE AND BEEN HOOKED D: Actually, I might have hooked myself. It's probably a bad idea to let 8 year olds fish.

Oh man, I hope you find something amusing at the reception to include in your story. You should eavesdrop on a lot of conversations, y/y?
Sep. 27th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
Oh hell yes. I actually justed posted what might be part I of the wedding reception fiasco...I'm seriously considering posting a part II, depending on what people say about the first part.
Sep. 27th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
Very nice! And yeah, there HAVE been a lot of pockys (pockies?) lately, haven't there?
I went fishing once but I had to let the fish go because it was smaller than the legal limit.
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:51 am (UTC)
thanks! I went fishing a lot when I was younger but I haven't been in ages...I had to ask someone what the right phrase for "release the bail" was. I'm still not sure "bail" is the right spelling...
Sep. 27th, 2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
Ugh, fishing and hooks *shudder*

I loved them both, especially the last one. It made me smile because I'd do what Dee did.

Great job!
Sep. 28th, 2008 12:51 am (UTC)
aww, thanks! glad you liked 'em :D
Sep. 28th, 2008 06:41 am (UTC)
I love these two stories. x3 And like Shayna said, the last two lines in both stories are awesome and I love them so.

Well done!
Jan. 5th, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)
The second one is cuter but Dee has to be an incredibly nice sister for not freaking out about the hook.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


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