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mocha # 4: 'get there safely'

Author: hi_falootin
Prompt: mocha 4. wish me luck
Word Count: 496
Rating: G
Summary: Dad's old Chevy is idling in the street and he's sitting there behind the wheel, leaning out the open window. This part of Jason's life is over.


Dad's old Chevy is idling in the street and he's sitting there behind the wheel, leaning out the open window. The truck seems so out of place here--so large and noisy in this lazy, dusty town--that I'm embarrassed for him, and then embarrassed for me because he's waving his arms and shouting my name.

"Hey, kid, get your butt over here and give your old man a hug!"

"Just a second!" I yell back, through the kitchen window screen.

He honks the horn.

Dee's calls from her room. "You heard him, Jason! Go!"

My family. Loud, loud, loud. I pull at my hair and step out onto the front porch. Dad waves again. I really don't want to go hug him. I really don't want to kiss him goodbye, cause that means he's leaving, leaving us here in this stupid desert town.

I keep my head down as I shuffle towards the truck, slowly as I can get away with. When I get close, he steps out of the cab and scoops me up in a bear hug. Dad's a big guy, and when he holds me like this, my feet don't touch the ground. I feel about eight again, crushed against his chest.

"I'm mad at you," I tell him. My voice sounds squeaky when he's crushing me like that, so it's not really the effect I was going for.

He lets me go and looks at me seriously. "You'll get over it," he says. "You'll see that this is the right thing."

"But why can't we go with you?" I told myself I wasn't going to cry, but my eyes start to feel all bleary. "We always did before!"

"Look, Jason, we've been over this." Dad sighs, and under the desert sun I can see all the little lines in his face. He seems suddenly over. "I'll be back to see you and your sister as often as I can. And you'll finally get a chance to make friends at your school who you won't have to leave behind every time we move...you'll see. You'll like it."

"I won't," I tell him, "And I'm still mad at you."

Dad nods. "I guess I'll have to live with that, then." He slides back behind the wheel of his pick-up, leaving me standing alone on the asphalt. "Just be good to Christine and your sister. Don't you take it out on them."

I wipe at my eyes, just in case. "Dad..." I don't want him to leave like this, not really. I start thinking that maybe he won't make it to California, maybe he'll run his truck off the road or get hit by an eighteen wheeler or shot in a convenience store robbery and the last thing I told him will be that I was mad at him.

"Be careful, okay?" I blurt.

He tips his trucker-cap at me. "Love you too, Sport."

Then he revs the engine, shifts into gear, and he's gone.


Hey, it's Dad! I've been writer's blocked lately, so I'm just pleased to have written something I could post >) Here's to hoping I can write some more...

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
kage_ankoku
Sep. 25th, 2008 04:37 am (UTC)
Aw, this was a very nice, sweet piece. It was an enjoyable read. =3

Very well done!
hi_falootin
Sep. 25th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
shayna611
Sep. 25th, 2008 05:42 am (UTC)
I really liked it :)
hi_falootin
Sep. 25th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
thanks!! :D
(Deleted comment)
hi_falootin
Sep. 25th, 2008 06:35 pm (UTC)
whoo, I'm glad it worked! thank you for the comment!
(Deleted comment)
hi_falootin
Sep. 26th, 2008 02:15 am (UTC)
thank you! :D
maiden_rising
Sep. 25th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
The last exchange in particular is extremely well done!

And I will refer back to the comment I left in your journal about five minutes ago, in which I said that we both spend too much time on the internet. Exhibit A: I'm picturing the father as Jeffrey Dean Morgan. This may be troubling on a symptomatic level, but at least I have a pleasing picture in my head, right?
hi_falootin
Sep. 26th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
lonnng reply here
Exhibit A: I'm picturing the father as Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

LOLLLLLL. Ok, now I have to tell you what the father looks like in my head. I can see him having a similar look/build to JDM but he's really tall/big and even though he's white, he wears his hair in long-ish Indian style braids (and wears a trucker hat, obvs). BUT PICTURE HIM HOWEVER YOU WANT, SRSLY! I WILL PICTURE JDM AT EVERY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY!

Ok, since I'm babbling at you already, is there anything in particular about this world you'd like to read more about? I might need a little bit of a nudge. I'm working on something about Howie and about something else about Dee and Malila, but I'm curious what you're thinking when you read these XD lol long comment is long.

And Re: too much time on the internet...HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'LL BE UNTIL I WRITE AN AU OF THIS WITH INCEST? D: I'm pretty terrible, you know.
maiden_rising
Sep. 26th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
Re: lonnng reply here
I love long comments! You know me.

1) I can see their father the way you describe him, too. I saw a big guy, white but with dark hair and eyes, and from there I got JDM. Or maybe JDM supplied the mental picture? IDK. Chicken and the egg.

2) Hmm...off the top of my head, I might like to hear more about Christine. In short: what's her deal? How does she feel about taking care of Dee and Jason? You may already have mentioned this, but...whose sister is she? (She's their aunt, right? I'm going to feel like an idiot if this isn't the case.) In your long fic, I found myself oddly intrigued by her...so I think maybe that's who I'd like to see more of. :) Quite possibly this stems from a latent desire to know more about the young, hip aunt in MY world...Alice. Maybe if you write a fic along these lines, I will too?

3) Oh man, I hadn't even considered that you would write an AU incest fic about these characters, but now that I do, it seems like the most natural thing in the world. Er. Read that last sentence and tell me it doesn't sound F----D UP. I have spent way too much time around you.

4) If you ever get bored, I would LOVE for you to hijack my characters (raise my children LOL) and write a story about Sara and Dylan, or whoever. Only if you're interested, of course! But you're my favorite real-life writer (i.e., I know you), and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see what you come up with. :) Pretty please?

OK, my comment was like a million times longer than yours.
hi_falootin
Sep. 26th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
Re: lonnng reply here
Oh, Christine! Yeah, I totally want to do more stuff with her. I'm thinking of butterscotch-ing her and writing about her adolescence because I need to get a clearer idea of the kind of person she is and why.

I wonder if Christine and Alice would get along? HEHEHE.

Er. Read that last sentence and tell me it doesn't sound F----D UP.

LOL WELL I'M THE ONE WHO MENTIONED IT. It's so bad, my brain keeps wandering over to that...probably because I always want to write love stories and can't so much when my MCs are brother and sister. Like, I don't think it's much more sinister than that. I guess this means I need more characters.

I would love to write something with your characters, but I kind of want to wait until either I get to chance to reread Pale Shadows or you post more stories here, just so I'll have a better handle on them. OH MAN MAYBE I COULD WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT RUE? SINCE SHE'S BASICALLY JAMIE BUT BICHIER? When I get non-dial-up internet again do you think you could send me another copy of PS?
maiden_rising
Sep. 26th, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
Re: lonnng reply here
YES, write something about Rue, because she's interestingly ambiguous, and it's funny to imagine a really bitchy version of Jamie. Let me know when you get back to Portland and I'll send you another copy of PS.
slysionnachnano
Sep. 26th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
Aww, poor Jason. My dad used to travel and it sucks. You really got his emotions down, not wanting to hug and say goodbye...

Great job!
nathskywalker
Jan. 5th, 2009 10:46 am (UTC)
feels so familiar, only it was my mom. And I felt kinda thesameabout it but I never said it or she'd feel bad.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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